Trump Announces New Number to Be Added to Number System

By: Naomi Metoyer
OwlFeed Journalist

Donald Trump announces that there is to be a new number added to the numerical system as of April 20th this year. It will be called ¨derf¨, tweeted celebrity Miranda Cosgrove, an adamant supporter of this addition. ¨And will be in between 5 and 6.¨derf

¨No, it is not 5.5 or 5 ½, just simply ´derf´,¨ Trump said in a conference concerning the number. He explains that although it will be a difficult change for some, it is a needed concession.

The number is said to look like a lowercase ´t´ with the bottom and left points connected.

When asked about the necessity of this ¨number¨, Secretary of Numerals and Letter Symbols Bellamy Clarke said that ¨for a long time now, we have been without a proper means of calculating data and counting the trillions we are in debt. We are below other countries in education and believe this to be the solution to many years of horrible averages and rising bills.”

¨I think I might retire early,¨ admitted Mr. Boothman, new to the Agua Fria team, who tries every day to teach Honors Pre-Calculus and Algebra Extensions.

And for some, like junior Kate Langston, ¨This will probably hurt my chances of scoring high on the ACT.¨ Agua Fria students should indeed be worried enough to begin studying for those tests in the coming weeks.

The change is curious, though, and with it arises several questions. Will this number be the new 6? Or a different value altogether? Will the number system still go by tens? Will the government add a new letter to the alphabet as well because I am quite fond of a few ideas.