OPINION: Thanksgiving is the Worst

By: Rian Cameron
OwlFeed Opinion Editor

Read Thanksgiving is the best by Lauren Mitchell here.

There is a reason why Halloween festivities fall away and Christmas decorations and holiday cheer take its place as suddenly as the dawn transitioning October 31st into November 1st. That is, Thanksgiving is the worst holiday. 

Thanksgiving is a morbid excuse for Americans to pursue gluttonous fantasies and celebrate a completely ignorant understanding of history. Not to mention, it is special for only those who have the opportunity to do these three things. They are the glue of an otherwise fragile and heartless holiday.

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Photo Credit: dtkreippene.com

Thanksgiving traditions are about as sturdy in morals as New Year’s Resolutions. We make commitments to being grateful for family and friends and food that we tend to take for granted, only to part with it all the Friday that follows it. 

In fact, that very day happens to be the most materialistic and unnerving event of the year… Black Friday. The day we trample each other and get into legitimate fights over gifts galore. The only solid purpose the ethical bloodbath serves is comic relief in Christmas RomComs. 

But the fourth Friday of November does have a more imperative meaning for our country’s indigenous population considering that it is also Native American Heritage Day. A terrible, yet not astonishing — considering how we celebrate the union of pilgrims and American Indians — coinciding of celebrations.

I cannot speak for Native Americans on this matter so I will just say it as I see it. Thanksgiving only really came into existence because a President was trying to ease tension after the Civil War. We eat none of the traditional foods nor do we celebrate it for the reasons it first occurred. So it appears to me as a bogus tradition that only highlights what America is worst known for: materialism and overeating. 

It is no secret that we are one of the larger countries in the world. It is because we are well off and have a free market, all of which is fine and well with me. But there is no cause to celebrate it. Can’t we all just get together and have a nice long fast and still be grateful for what we have? 

No. Because food is the only thing that holds Thanksgiving together. If we were truly giving thanks, we would be appreciating what we have had without the turkey and the potatoes and the pie. 

Owlfeed Media Editor, Lauren Mitchell even concedes that Thanksgiving is best known and praised for being a stomach stuffing glutton fest in her Opinion story ‘Thanksgiving is the Best.’ “It’s mostly known for its delicious food. Which is one of the main reasons why I love it so much,” said Lauren.

Lauren also argues that Thanksgiving isn’t the only holiday that centers somewhat around food. And to that I say, exactly. That is what makes it so obsolete. Everything you eat at Thanksgiving re-manifests itself when Christmas rolls around. And candy on Halloween, sure, you could whip up an argument around that, but when it comes down to it, Thanksgiving is all food. Halloween is about dressing up and haunted houses and the trick-or-treating tends to stop around the age of 13 or 14 years old. 

One more thing Lauren finds superior about Thanksgiving is that it lacks religious ties. But in essence, America was founded Christian and so was Thanksgiving. In Abraham Lincoln’s Proclamation of Thanksgiving he said, “I do therefore invite my fellow citizens… to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens.”

Religion is inescapable in US history, but we don’t have to celebrate it that way. Many non-Christians are still able to enjoy all three holidays and those who don’t also tend not to observe Thanksgiving alongside its two companions because it is considered to be a Pagan holiday.

Bloated turkeys, GMO crops, killing, eating, stuffing ourselves full like residents of Panem, straight out of the Hunger Games. We are the Whos before Christmas seemed to mean anything at all. I am the Grinch of Thanksgiving and I speak for the turkeys. 

Down with the pretending, down with Thanksgiving!