Celebrations happen a lot in a year and especially if you are dating someone it can be costing you a good amount of money. Gift giving often creates unrealistic standards because of the internet making new things every holiday, Bur basket for Christmas, Boo basket for Halloween, and even jewelry to promise commitment. Relationships shouldn’t be built on the amount of money and gifts someone presents you with, but…it also isn’t a bad thing to want.
Humans are very opinionated people, and therefore we can judge too quickly, especially those we are jealous of, dont get me wrong, it is normal and of course, we are going to wish we were those we see on the internet who spoiled. Social media is a big factor in this grey area that is created in between relationships where people look at these videos (that may not even be real) and start to compare their relationships. Comparison is the thief of joy. People have gotten on the internet and expressed their opinions on how the internet is shaping the way people view their relationships how it is unrealistic and how people dont need all these baskets and gifts. Although these people are right, there is kind of nothing wrong with being the one who receives all this.
Juliescribbles, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
“Things are nice, and they can be needed but it depends on your partner’s situation and most importantly financial situation”, says my friend Isabella. It just seems as if you honestly can’t make people happy, if you dont buy enough or nothing at all then you don’t care for your partner. If you buy too much then you’re spoiling your partner too much and building relationships on materialistic things. Gifts are good, gifts, unfortunately, do matter because everyone wants things they like, especially when it comes to love languages like “receiving gits”. Of course, you dont have to spend a ridiculous amount of money, or any money actually, handmade things are also gifts. The best way to give a gift is to put thought into it.
“When I give a gift, I like to be inspired,” says Therese Rosenblatt Ph.D. on https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inside-real-peoples-heads/202112/is-gift-giving-a-bad-idea, which just brings me to believe that in relationships specifically, “just because” or “meaningful” gifts are the best type of gifts to give. This not only creates a bond with the couple but also shows that you know what the other person wants and needs.
Gifts aren’t the “bad guy”, on how people recently describe it, gifts are the optional thing that people want to give their partner. They are good for a relationship but doesn’t have to thrive on them, all those little new gifts that are created on platforms like Instagram and TikTok aren’t bad to ask for or want, many people though do think that it is unfair and ridiculous that we have gotten to a point where relationships survive with money. Although that’s not really true! Just because you see someone getting everything they wish for doesn’t mean it affects your life, everyone deserves to have nice things after all.
Isles Yacht Club, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
The best way to prevent jealousy from spreading and making sure you fully understand that not everyone can obtain these things is to see that after all it is social media. There’s nothing you can do about it and that is 100% okay. As long as you don’t compare your relationship it will always hold up together, it takes time and effort to stop focusing on what other people receive and start to focus on all the good memories you have had in all your time together no matter the weeks, months, years or even days.
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