As crazy as it sounds, it’s true — Mr. Kolton Boothman is running for president in the next election in 2024. From all his experience as a high school calculus teacher, I would say Boothdawg is more than prepared to take on America. 

Boothman has been a teacher here at Agua Fria for 25 years and is sad to leave the student body but knows this is his calling. 

After speaking with Boothman on this matter, he said, “I know my time as a teacher is over because this year’s students are the best I’m ever going to get.”

Bothman is excited to announce Olivia Wotherspoon as his running mate for Vice President and Anna Salinas as his campaign manager. With this dream team, Boothman is pretty much guaranteed to be the next POTUS.

With many qualifications for this position, Boothman is very well prepared and has a stacked resume, starting with the fact that Boothdawg was actually the co-founder of Tesla with Elon Musk (don’t ask me how this is new news to us). Back in 2003, Boothman was busy at work getting ready to launch these new and improved cars when he suddenly discovered a new way of math.

Humbly, he named this the Boothman Method. This is groundbreaking and we should have no other mathematician running this country. The Boothman Method seems awfully simple with just two rather straightforward steps. Step 1: Understand the Problem. Step 2: “2+2=5?” and I’m actually not sure that it’s correct but trust me it’s correct, Boothman told me so. Personally, I don’t understand it but that just proves how large his brain is. 

Another fun fact about Boothman is that he has a collection of Tesla’s, all with leather interiors. You could never catch him driving anything besides an electric car. The future POTUS cares too much about the environment for that. What. A. Guy. 

Agua Fria High School has been so lucky to have Mr. Boothman as a teacher for such a long time, but I think America needs him more. With gas prices rising we need Boothman’s genius brain to help bring them back down so we can all live our lives again. 

As a school, we are so proud of Boothman and all he has accomplished. We are proud to send him into this new stage of his life and will even be putting up a statue of him in the courtyard. Please tell Boothman how proud you are of him when you see him in the hallway. We wish him the best. Boothman 4 Prez 2024! 

APRIL FOOLS’!